I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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