just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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