i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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