just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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