My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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