What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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