im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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