if i died would you start the facebook group?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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