i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have already put on my inside pants.
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