i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
