I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
