It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
