I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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