dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
