pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
