the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
