What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize