What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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