just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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