My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
