i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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