My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
