I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
