First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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