I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
