i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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