I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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