Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
