Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
