The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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