WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
