Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
