I just saw a hot homeless man
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
