i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Its about making memories worth repressing
i think i have two assholes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
