I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the day after is always just damage control
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
