I'm really into asian looking animals
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
