So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
