Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
