Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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