I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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