so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
