she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
