is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
