Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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