All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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