i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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