I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
im on a boat
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