new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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