these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
