Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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