wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
