Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
