3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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