If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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